Saturday, March 28, 2009


Recently in "Urban Adonia" the most excellent blog of my LA based common-law daughter-in-law, I read a wonderfully entertaining post about the hilarious names of products at the IKEA store. Her choices for most hilarious were SLUMRA (inexpensive sheets) and SLABANG (an alarm clock). In order to trade on Adonia's sharp skills of observation and discovery of what may be an almost inexhaustible source of humor I am in a few minutes (with notebook in hand) departing for IKEA to collect more wonderful product names. I will be back in a few hours to complete this post. Sound of door closing...

Sound of door opening and me yelling at dog... Well, I'm back! Now that I think of it I could have just browsed through the catalog and not subjected myself to the IKEA maze. I am somewhat consoled however with the thought that my visit to the actual store has resulted in a more authentic experience. Herewith are my choices for best names of IKEA products:

1. SANDIG - Baking set; Is this a Swedish word? Actually this question applies to almost all the names. I think rather that the names are mainly whimsical made up names generated by IKEA employees who are hoping somehow to get the last laugh.

2. GODIS - Highball glass; I am guessing that if you drink enough from these glasses your companion will appear as a GODIS...

3. Fornuft (with umlaut o) - Cutlery; I have no idea what this means but the umlaut seems to be used with a great deal of license in Ikea names. Sorry, but this web software doesn't seem to enable me to type a proper umlaut.

4. SNUDDA - Lazy Susan; This must refer to someone's Swedish sister.

5. SKANKA - Frying pan; I once new a rather homely young woman who aspired to be a chef.

6. BILLY - Bookshelves; This diminutive of William likely springs from the vast numbers of tatooed Swedish baristas.

7. FRACK (with umlaut) - Mirror; OMG! Frack the Cylons!

8. LACK - Shelving; As we lacked shelving for stuff I purchased two of these. I no longer Lack.

9. ARSTID - Lamp; I thought at first a misspelling of the name Astrid, or perhaps ala "The Office", Ass Turd.

10. DUDERO (with umlaut) - Lamp; My personal favorite. This is a man's lamp. It is for dudes!

11. RUTBO - Lamp; This is a girls lamp for the enjoyment of DUDERO.

12. KVART - Lamp; Is this Swedish for Fart? Like, did you just KVART?

13. PJATTERYD (with umlaut somewhere) - Picture; How the hell do you pronounce this one? Is it perhaps Patty Turd?

14. KNASTER - Bag of rocks; Hmm Knasty...

15. Gorm - Wood Slats (purpose unidentified); The expression gormless comes to mind. Look it up.

16. BUMERANG - Clothes hanger; Misspelled? I think not!

17. JABA - Clothes pins; Did the Hut use these?

Enough! I only had the opportunity to view a limited selection of the first floor. There is a vast world of silly names still available to the intrepid explorer who is brave enough to endure the IKEA maze. Please comment with your own examples of this new and superior language!

1 comment:

  1. Dude, wow what a skanka of a posting. I mean- did you kvart or what? I suppose it is better than pure jaba-jaba and not as lame as sour gorb but you really need to improve your rutbo if you are ever going to attract and fine snudda! So, Dudero take a moment and send dg the NM material for Thur. meeting. do you frack???


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